Monday, April 4, 2016

If you remember Bored of the Rings

The early Seventies parody of the Lord of the Rings by writers from the Harvard Lampoon has at least one fun scene applicable to current events:

As Goodgulf stepped onto the bridge the passage echoed with an ominous dribble, dribble, and a great crowd of narcs burst forth. In their midst was a towering dark shadow too terrible to describe. In its hand it held a huge black globe and on its chest was written in cruel runes, "Villanova." 

"Aiyee," shouted Legolam. "A ballhog!" 

Goodgulf turned to face the dread shadow, and as he did, it slowly circled toward the bridge, bouncing the grim sphere as it came. The Wizard reeled back and, clutching at the ropes, raised his wand. "Back, vile hoopster," he cried. 

At this the ballhog strode forward onto the bridge, and stepping back, the wizard drew himself up to his full height and said, "Avaunt, thin-clad one!" 

Arrowroot waved Krona. "He cannot hold the bridge," he shouted and rushed forward. 

"E pluribus unum," cried Bromosel and leaped after him. 

"Esso extra," said Legolam, jumping behind him. 

"Kaiser Frazer," shouted Gimlet, running up to join them. 

The ballhog sprang forward, and raising the dread globe over his head, uttered a triumphant cry. 

"Dulce et decorum," said Bromosel, hacking at the bridge. 

"Above and beyond," said Arrowroot, chopping a support. 

"A far, far better thing," said Legolam, slicing through the walkway. 

"Nearer my God to thee," hummed Gimlet, cutting the last stay with a quick ax stroke. 

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